19. are significantly jealous and possessive toward my personal sweetheart whenever another makeup lesbian/femme type entered the area.

19. are significantly jealous and possessive toward my personal sweetheart whenever another makeup lesbian/femme type entered the area.

When your sweetheart will flirt, she’s attending flirt. Acting like a deranged, hyper-jealous head instance is not planning prevent people from doing anything. Actually, it is going to merely worsen the woman need.

20. Flirting with female cops, TSA agents, security guards, as well as other women in consistent because we presumed these people were gay.

I lust after a woman in a consistent, but sadly not totally all feamales in clothing crave after myself.


I enjoy those longer, pointy Lana Del Rey nails. But my personal ex-girlfriend did not appreciate them as I attempted penetration with those strong talons.

Oh, the sacrifices us style lezzies must lead to sex! Luckily for us sexual climaxes feel much better than acrylic fingernails taste.

22. Faking an orgasm.

You could be in a position to fake sexual climaxes with men, however you can’t trick your own personal sex, honey. Discovered this 1 the difficult means.

23. unsafe sex, because, you realize, “lesbians can’t become STIs.”

I’m astounded I caused it to be off my slutty state (We say “slut” in a motivated ways! Don’t fear!) without finding every STI in the sunshine.

I didn’t even know just what a dental dam is while I is 21. I was thinking it absolutely was some thing they trapped inside mouth area sugar daddy apps from the dental practitioner. And I also dislike the dental practitioner.

24. Playing inside “helpless femme” label.

Because society associates womanliness with weakness does not mean I have to have fun with the character. Screw that. We use lots of makeup, look wonderful in pale red, and certainly will rescue me from almost any catastrophe.

25. dropping crazy while lost at lesbian activities.

“Owen, I’m in love” I when slurred to my closest friend on now-defunct Williamsburg homosexual pub “Sugarland.” Next day I woke with my cardio pounding and my personal mouth as dried out as Sahara wasteland.

I was all of a sudden inundated with embarrassing memory of pronouncing my personal like to a girl whose term or face I could not recall. For the following year, we lived-in incessant concern with operating into this woman once again.


26. phoning my personal gf my personal ex-girlfriend’s term.

Though i did so see a great way to step out of this. In the event that you phone the gf your own ex-girlfriend’s identity, only duplicate the following:

“Oh girl, I’m SO sorry. I also known as your the girl term because We associate this lady with tension and I’m exhausted right now! There Is A Constant concerns me down, which is why it seems international to state your own stunning identity while I feel pressured.” Works wonders.

“Only a lesbian could think about that,” my pal Kevin said to myself once I advised him the way I had gotten out of calling my personal girl an inappropriate identity. He’s perhaps not wrong.

27. planning I got a “type.”

We always think that We enjoyed ladies with short-hair who had been bigger than myself. Today I recognize we don’t discriminate.

Butch, femme, stalk, taller, short — I like all types of lesbians (while the French would state, lesbiennes). Purr.

28. Playing difficult to get.

I familiar with think if I blew off a date or didn’t text the girl We lusted over straight back, she’d just like me a lot more. However recognized that that online game does not deal with females (at least not confident, mentally-stable people). It makes the lady genuinely believe that you’re a manipulative small twerp, and she does not have enough time for the, OK?

29. falling up-and advising a lady regarding earliest Tinder date I’d already considered the girl Instagram.

“Oh, yeah, your cat, Fred! He’s soooo adorable.”

“How have you any a°dea We have a pet called Fred?”

Crickets. Crickets. And much more crickets.

30. Thought the initial girl we previously dated had been the passion for my life and that would I never get over their.

1st lesbian cut will be the deepest, but I vow you, my personal heartbroken kids lesbians, you’re maybe not meant to have initial female your date. In fact, you need ton’t have the initial girl you date. Your feelings are way too from whack, the stakes are way too large. Plus, being know what you really including, you ought to get within and big date as many various girls as you can.

Very dry those rips, girl. You’ll overcome their. We big-sister-lesbian hope.

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